What went down- and the future of deal making.

So, a couple months ago I met this guy- Michael. He bought me shoes and we got talking as friends- he earned my trust, I let him in to my personal life.

I am a flirt by nature!

Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it until it's too late. I flirted with him and made some plans- all to get a new computer because I'm THAT desperate on needing one. In the process of talking to him. I did develop feelings for him, and that desperate act turned in to honest wants. As most of you know,

I AM HAPPILY TAKEN.

Every couple has their ups and downs, Peetabread and I are going through one of these stages right now. I am the type of person who needs people physically and I've been known to cheat to get that physical need. 

I AM MAKING THE PROCESS TO CHANGE.

I honestly love- and am in love with Peetabread. I am planning to marry him and have a future with him. Being a cam girl, it isn't the best situation to be in for my job. Obviously a lot of you reading this know that I do flirt and interact with my viewers.. it's part of the job. NOT who I am out side of my job. 

Let's face it, most guys who come watch me want to feel special, like I'm here just for them. It's part of the job description to talk as such. If it's not- which I see the more successful girls don't- then I'll stop. I'm just trying to get a long ways in the business.

Back to my story, Peetabread and I were walking around Wallgreens one day, I went to the bathroom- and insecure him went through my texts. I've went through his once, it's fair game. He saw me flirting, confronted me- I saw how hurt and worried he actually was. I realized that I need to leave that way of thinking and talking behind. 

It's not how dedicated wifes' act. 

I want to be that for Peetabread. So, I told Michael that I can't talk like that any more, I am NOT planning to go out and see him any more (what I had to do to get the computer) - and that I wanted to be better and true to Peetabread. At first, he seemed very receptive and fine with just being friends.

I posted a tweet on Twitter asking if anybody knew, or had friend's that worked at a newspaper that could get me the coupon inserts. He said he had 2 friends that worked at the paper that could get them for me, and send them to me. The way he said it was almost as if he was doing it out of the kindness of his heart as a friend. 

BOY WAS I WRONG!

Yesterday, he "playfully" messaged me "Wow I have all these inserts, I wonder who to send them to" This some how upset me. So I told them to give them to someone else. This sparked a horrible fight. Where he stated that he "loved me and wanted to treat me better than Peetabread has" Well, he then proceeded to talk bad about him, and me, and our future- VERY verbally abusive things. Told me the ONLY way I could get these coupons I so badly want is through seeing him. - where I felt obligated to sleep with him. 

I said fine. I'll do it ( I'm an extreme couponer and my coupons mean A LOT to me ) all he had to do was admit that he never truly loved me or care for me- because the rude things he said to me, and called me (and Peetabread) and not wanting my happiness and being supportive in me is NOT caring or love. 

So thoughout the day - and even IN MY CAM SHOW asked me to marry him- after he was SO rude and abusive to me. 

Finally I just got DONE with his shit.... and let it go.

FOR THE FUTURE.

This is MY job, and if I'm trading goods (coupons for porn) I expect MY stuff first, then I  WILL get you yours. I (for a while) will be more harsh about tipping, and getting my things first. It's only fair.
I ALWAYS love friends, and will be your friend, possibly talk dirty. But nothing more than friends. I have a close circle that I'm willing to let in to my personal life, but it's gonna take a LONG time to earn my trust after this.